31 Nights of Halloween Horror part 10 - Mardi Gras Massacre

Mardi Gras Massacre
97 mins.
Dir. Jack Weis
1978/USA

Like last nights movie would only apply to certain type of audience, tonight's movie is the same.  If you like the finer things in life, a nice herb encrusted salmon, some filet mignon topped with lobster, a nice chianti and a macaroon to finish it off, stay the hell away from this movie.  If you prefer a big mac with a side of fries and a chocolate shake, stay the hell away from this movie.  If you like two day old cold pizza with unidentifiable toppings and warm Old English malt liquor with a some cigarette butts floating in it, have I got the movie for you.  It is an acquired taste but take off your top and grab those beads because tonight we are going to The Big Easy.  It's Mardi Gras time!

I love this movie.  If this movie was a cheese, it would most certainly be Limburger that went bad.  It is most comparably to H.G. Lewis's Blood Feast in story, gore effects, acting and dialogue to give you a sense of what we are dealing with here.  For unknown reasons this movie is set in the French Quarter during Mardi Gras season.  A well to do sharply dressed rich man searches the local prostitute hang outs for a special type of a girl.  He is looking for the most "evil" girl in the bar.  Our nameless man is introduced to Shirley first by a couple of her cohorts.  Shirley, played by Laura Misch Owens who was playmate of the month in February of 1975, assures our friend that she "could probably take first prize in an evil contest."  For $200 he takes this evil tramp back to his place where she undresses and lies down on an altar, I mean table.  Quickly changing into his sacrificial garb he begins to tie up Shirley and pour oils over her and rub it in all over her body.  He then takes the sacrificial dagger and slices her "evil" hand for accepting his money, then slices her "evil" foot she used to walk here and finally slicing up her stomach to remove her "evil" heart which must be a cow's heart or something because it is about three times the size of a normal human heart.  Also she does not seem to have a ribcage, as he just slices up her chest and reaches right in.  When done, he plops the body on the train tracks and waits until the following Tuesday to do it all over again.

Meanwhile two rough and tough dip shit cops begin to investigate the murder, but have no clue what or who to look for.  When Sgt. Herbert question one of the prostitutes, Sherry, he winds up following for her and a quick happy love montage of them strolling around the French Quarter later and another prostitute is murdered.  In the exact same way.  From the exact same camera angle, and the exact same sized cow heart.  Must be a prostitute thing.  Of course Sherry eventually realizes Sgt. Herbert is a dick because he is a cop and gets drunk at the disco where we are treated to an enticing disco dance number.  This movie has a little something for everyone.

Meanwhile, Nameless Killer still on his hunt for "evil" prostitutes lines up his third victim.  This time he is nice enough to feed her some Chinese take out before he sacrifices her to his Peruvian goddess of evil or something of the sort.  Again with the same camera angle, same nakedness, oil rubbing, hand cutting, feet slicing and cow heart removal he wraps up his killings and heads out to enjoy Mardi Gras.  In scenes filmed during an actual Mardi Gras celebration out ritualistic masked killer fits right in.  Long story short, as if you even care anymore.  Sherry gets captured, the police get a tip off to what apartment our nameless killer lives and breaks in, but not before Nameless Killer sneaks out the back window, runs to a parking garage and drives off in his...station wagon?  Yup, he may be rich, but when it comes to vehicles you just can't pass up the old family truckster I suppose.  The chase is on and ends with driving off a peer into the Mississippi river.  But when the car is drudged up, the Nameless Killer's body is never found.  Dun dun dun.

I don't know what to tell you.  The acting is atrocious, the dialogue is stale, the blood looks like red melted crayons and the editing looks to be done with kindergarten scissors and paste.  A disco jazz sound tracks plays through just about the entire background of the film.  But there is plenty of 70s nudity and they do not shy away at all from slicing up women's abdomen's to pull out cow hearts, so that is a nice thing.  But this is a b movie with a capital B and I love all 97 minutes of it.  Though by the third kill in the same exact way with the same exact camera angles it would have ben nice if they changed things up a little.  I mean they went through all the trouble of making three different female torsos to cut up, they could have at least moved the camera maybe 3 inches to the right to get a different perspective.  This is kind of a staple at our house during Mardi Gras time, so head over this February for some jambalaya and red beans and rice and come watch this crowd pleaser of the lowest dominator with us and share in its revelry.  Though this movie is probably best viewed after a few Hand Grenades from Tropical Isle.