31 Nights of Halloween Horror part 16 - The Ruins

The Ruins
90 mins.
Dir. Carter Smith
2008/USA

Well we made it to about the half way point of the month, so far we have watched movies with monsters and cannibals, giant octopus and insane over-bearing mothers, ghosts and crazed women with killing agendas, we went on a Mardi Grads Massacre and visited the Mill of the Stone Women, we were amazed by The House at the End of Time and last night we watched the heavy handed Funny Games. Tonight we are going to take a breather and watch some lighter flair, a movie about killer plants.

In a time when most horror movies deal with psycho killers or zombies, it is always nice to see a nature gone bad good old-fashioned monster movie.  There is not an overabundance of films that fit this mold, Day of the Triffids, Little Shop of Horrors and The Lonesome Death of Jordy Verrill from Creepshow are only a few that come to mind.  So I am glad another movie is being added to this short list, especially one worthy of joining the ranks of those mentioned.

The Ruins is adapted from a book dealing with two American couples vacationing in Mexico who meet up with a German tourist who is going to visit a Mayan Ruin the next day that his girlfriend is already at excavating. The ruin is not on any tourist excursion, it is hidden deep in the jungle.  So already red flags are going off for me. I watched Frontier(s), and if you haven't you should before planning your next trip to our neighbors in the south.  There is no way my ass is setting foot in Mexico.  I don't even like eating Taco Bell without looking over my shoulder.  But if for some reason I found myself at one of those all inclusive resorts, there is no way am I going on any excursion off the beaten path to a ruin that you just know has some bad juju vibes coming from it.  Don't you remember that damn Brady Bunch episode when they went to Hawaii and ran into Vincent Price and Peter woke up with a Tarantula crawling on his chest.  Thanks guys, but I'll just stay at the hotel bar where it is safe.

Lucky for us, our group is not a bunch of pussies like me and go on this uncharted journey to certain death.  They locate the Mayan temple and soon from out of the jungle come a bunch of angry natives waving guns and pointing arrows at them, yelling something that no one can understand as apparently it is not Spanish.  The German's friend gets blasted with an arrow and the rest of the group is like fuck that and runs up the top of ruin.  See?  See? I told you this would happen, but does anyone ever listen to me?  Nnnooo, I only know what I am talking about.

Once on top of the ruin they find evidence of a camp, it seems the German's girlfriend or sister or whoever she is has indeed been up here but no bodies are found, oh no wait, never mind there is one.  Her colleague is found tangled up in a bunch of vines looking like the life was sucked out of him.  There is a hole in the middle of the ruins with a rope a leading down.  The German gets lowered in to see if his sister is down there.  Rope snaps, he falls and breaks his legs and is pretty much useless for the rest of the movie, well except for our enjoyment.  Our foursome now is freaking the fuck out, they have no cell reception, because well...Mexico, and the crazy natives won't let them leave the ruin.  They are pretty much stuck up there.  But wait, was that a phone ringing down in the hole?  Is there a cell phone down there?  The two girls get lowered into the pit to search for the phone, but all they find instead is a whole lot of Nope.

Seems our five victims, I mean tourists are not the only ones inhabiting these ruins.  The ruins are covered with these vine like plants that sprout red flowers and oddly enough have a taste for human flesh.  This may all seem a little hokey to read but the movie is portrayed in a very serious manner and I have to tell you they do some creative things we these plants that are, "Aw hell no."  This film isn't winning any awards, but it does have its moments, a few gross out gore scenes to keep you twitching, but overall this is a one and done.  Outside of adding another leaf to the killer plant sub-genre, Ruins will probably continue to go unnoticed, but it is worth the watch.  Its a good old-fashioned solid monster movie.  Could use a little trimming of the fat, but it movies along at a good enough pace.

You can add plants to the list of things in horror movies you want to say Fuck You too.  Cause plants, who needs them?  Well except for food and I guess breathing, but other than that.  Fuck em.