31 Nights of Halloween Horror part 19 - Rogue

Rogue
99 mins
Dir. Greg McLean
2007/Australia

Oi Crikey mate!  There is a giant croc and he is ornery because he has all dem teeth and no tooth brush.  Tonight we are going to the land down under on a riverboat cruise of the Northern Territory when our boat gets attacked by a giant saltwater crocodile.  True Story.

Along with Mexico, Australia's Outback is a place I have no desire to go to.  A land where spiders grow larger enough to carry off a baby and kangaroos will rape your sister, not to mention the rogue band of warriors who will hunt you down for gas. Add crocodiles to that list.  Rogue tells the simple story of a group of ten people, who we shall call bait, go on a river boat cruise in Australia's beautiful Northern Territory.  Here is where the movie really shines in the cinematic scope of the region and its wildlife.  Everything is kosher we are all having a good time, we see a few crocs, so we know they are out there, but now it is time to head in.  On the way back a few distress flares can be seen in the distance.  For whatever reason our charter feels compelled to turn around and go down river in the opposite direction to see if we can find the source.

Continuing down the river for much further then we should have and our guide is getting a little nervous saying we are in a sacred place, whatever that means.  Finally we find a capsized boat.  And faster then you can say Fosters is shit beer, the little river boat gets rammed by a large brunt force and starts taking on water.  Everyone must evacuate and the only place to go is a small little stretch of land off the shore.  Oi mate, but don't stand to close to the edge because, holy shit a giant crocodile just swallowed that man whole!  Everybody up to the center of land, except for one problem, the tide is rising and soon there won't be any land.  Which honestly is fine by me, because I hope everyone becomes crocodile food.

Night falls, no help is coming, the effort to attach ropes between the island and a tree on the mainland fails and swimming is not an option because somewhere out in the darkness is a giant crocodile who just wants to eat everyone that is around him.  The film is mostly tense up until this point when you assume the croc will just be picking people off one by one, until American journalist Pete, comes up with the plan to basically use the boat's anchor, attaching some dead birds as bait and a life preserver as a bobber and try and distract or snare the crocodile while everyone can safely get to shore.  The plan some what works and the remaining tour group quickly scurries to safer pastures on dry land.  But we all watched Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom and know Crocodiles can go on land too.  (Bonus points if you remember watching that Sunday nights before World of Disney). 

American Pete goes off on his own chasing after the tour guide's dog and of all places winds up in the giant Crocodile's nest.  Up until this point of the movie we never see much of the croc, it is just a glimpse moving through the water or part of his tail, but once in his lair we get to see him in all his giant mouth, filled with teeth glory.  And ironically this is where the movie turns and becomes lame.  A crocodile this large and presumably fast is going to make mince meat out of anyone, I imagine the chances to escape unharmed are few and far between, but somehow our main characters due just that despite being bit and not at the very least bleed out all over the place.

Honestly I was hoping for a little more with this movie.  Greg McLean earned his reputation with his  much talked about directorial debut Wolf Creek.  The DVD cover is labeled under Dimension's Extreme label with a giant bloody crocodile mouth.  Extreme is not really a word I would use for this movie.  It's hard to not compare this film to Lake Placid.  On the plus side I would say Rogue is really no worse than Lake Placid.  The negative side, Lake Placid wasn't really that great of a movie.  Want to see a movie about a giant Crocodile you certainly can have your pic with choices like Alligator, Big Alligator River, Lake Placid, Rogue and more.  None of them really all that great, but they all have their moments.  You kind of know what you are getting into with these movies and they deliver on that level, but very few stand out with much re-watchability.  Rogue is no different.  I was kind of hoping more people would get eaten and we would see it.  But there were far too many survivors for my liking.  However with that being said, I have been on several swamp tours in New Orleans to see alligators and if something like what happens in Rogue happened on one of those....fffuuuuccckkkkkkk that.  So watch Rogue in that frame of mind and maybe you will enjoy it a little more.

On a side note, growing up, a Chocodile was one of my favorite snacks.  I used to peel all the chocolate off and eat that first and then eat the Twinky part.  (Extra bonus point if you remember Chocodiles).  On another side note, the great Umberto Lenzi passed away today.  In his honor you should all go out and watch one of his movies.  We watched Cannibal Ferox on day two of this project.  Might be worth a revisit.