31 Nights of Halloween Horror - Night 6 - The Nun
31 Nights of Halloween Horror - Night 6 - The Nun
The Nun
96 mins.
Dir. Corin Hardy
USA/2018
I love Nuns. They are sexy, they are scary. The Nun was the best thing about The Conjuring 2. There was no way I was going to miss out on this movie. It took me awhile to see it, but I eventually got around to it. So what did this nun lover think, well let me tell you...
So the story for The Nun takes place prior to all the other movies in the Conjuring Universe and is a background story to how this character came about. Apparently some duke in what is now Romania built a castle and was obsessed with the occult so he summons a demon. Then templar knights or some shit storm the castle and send the demon back to the hole in the ground where it came. Since then the castle became a monastery, but during the bombings of World War II the crack in the ground that trapped the demon was split back open and this demon named Valak, has wrecked havoc ever since. Fast forward to 1952 where our story takes place and the movie opens with two nuns heading to a room they shouldn't be heading to for whatever reason. One nun goes in but doesn't come out. She tells the other nun she knows what she needs to do to keep the evil at bay. The demon needs a host body. So the other nun hightails it out of there, puts a noose around her neck and leaps from a window hanging herself in front of the monastery. So the evil is trapped in the first Nun's body since it has no new host body to move on to.
Enter the first of our three main characters in the film, Frenchie. He is a local farmer who delivers goods to the monastery. He finds the nun hanging, takes her down and puts her body in the freezer. The Vatican gets wind of the crazy shit going down at the monastery and sends out a priest who has experience with occult phenomena and to go along with him they send Sister Irene who is an up and coming nun but hasn't taken her vow to join Nundom yet. So the priest and almost nun travel to Romania and hook up with Frenchie to go check out the monastery. Frenchie shows them where he put the hanged nun's body in the freezer, only when they enter she is sitting up, not lying down like he left her. The priest tries come up with some logical explanation about how this could happen, I'm not buying it, but everyone else seems ok with it and they bury the body in the cemetery out front.
Priest and almost nun stay at the monastery for the night, Frenchie heads home but not before he sees the suicidal nun walking around out front of the monastery. Up until this point, the film has me interested. Total atmospheric spooky castle, crosses, dead nuns type shit. I am eating this up like a bowl of frosted flakes with an extra two scoops of sugar. So carrying on with our story, Priest and nun chit chat, she tells him she has visions, he tells her he did a botched exorcism that claimed a little boy's life and like clock work the priest is now haunted by visions throughout the monastery of this dead kid. Blah blah blah, they learn of the evil presence in the monastery and how to expel it which, apparently happens to be a vial holding the blood of christ locked away that the Templars left behind. Now don't you think if the Vatican knew there was Jesus blood lying around somewhere they would have taken it to safer keeping or guarded it instead of leaving it locked away with some nuns? It's not even like these were nuns with guns that could have done something.
So almost nun, who nows decides she is ready to take her vows and be a full time nun, fills her mouth with Jesus blood, spits on Valak the Nun and all is right with the world again, but not before the demon Valak sneakily enters the body of Frenchie without anyone knowing. And this brings us full circle back to the Conjuring where the Warrens are doing a presentation and talk about Frenchie's exorcism where Lily Taylor from the first Conjuring movie is sitting in on.
So how does one successfully fuck up a nun movie? Trust me, I sit through a lot of nunspolitation, it doesn't take much to entertain me when there is a black and white outfit involved. First rarely show the central character the movie is named after. She is in there, but really, she probably has about as much screen time as she did in Conjuring 2. Don't get me wrong, there are a bunch of fucked up nuns running around in the movie, but not a whole hell of a lot of Valak. Secondly this story has about as many plot holes as the bible does, things don't make sense or don't add up. The more the story goes, the more questions you have. Like if the demon needed a host body and after the film it is destroyed and jumps into Frenchie, why does Lorraine Warren see the demon as the nun in Conjuring 2? Shouldn't it have looked like Frenchie to her, what the hell connection to looking like a nun does it matter to her? All that, weak story, cheap jump scares and too much Hollywood flash removes most of the appeal to this movie. But on a positive note, there is some cool atmospheric imagery in the beginning and it is not the worst film in the Conjuring Universe. The first Annabelle movie still wears that shit crown.
So when it comes to Nun films you can do much better then this. Stick with the likes of The Convent, Love Letters of a Portuguese Nun or Images of the Convent.
The Nun
96 mins.
Dir. Corin Hardy
USA/2018
I love Nuns. They are sexy, they are scary. The Nun was the best thing about The Conjuring 2. There was no way I was going to miss out on this movie. It took me awhile to see it, but I eventually got around to it. So what did this nun lover think, well let me tell you...
So the story for The Nun takes place prior to all the other movies in the Conjuring Universe and is a background story to how this character came about. Apparently some duke in what is now Romania built a castle and was obsessed with the occult so he summons a demon. Then templar knights or some shit storm the castle and send the demon back to the hole in the ground where it came. Since then the castle became a monastery, but during the bombings of World War II the crack in the ground that trapped the demon was split back open and this demon named Valak, has wrecked havoc ever since. Fast forward to 1952 where our story takes place and the movie opens with two nuns heading to a room they shouldn't be heading to for whatever reason. One nun goes in but doesn't come out. She tells the other nun she knows what she needs to do to keep the evil at bay. The demon needs a host body. So the other nun hightails it out of there, puts a noose around her neck and leaps from a window hanging herself in front of the monastery. So the evil is trapped in the first Nun's body since it has no new host body to move on to.
Enter the first of our three main characters in the film, Frenchie. He is a local farmer who delivers goods to the monastery. He finds the nun hanging, takes her down and puts her body in the freezer. The Vatican gets wind of the crazy shit going down at the monastery and sends out a priest who has experience with occult phenomena and to go along with him they send Sister Irene who is an up and coming nun but hasn't taken her vow to join Nundom yet. So the priest and almost nun travel to Romania and hook up with Frenchie to go check out the monastery. Frenchie shows them where he put the hanged nun's body in the freezer, only when they enter she is sitting up, not lying down like he left her. The priest tries come up with some logical explanation about how this could happen, I'm not buying it, but everyone else seems ok with it and they bury the body in the cemetery out front.
Priest and almost nun stay at the monastery for the night, Frenchie heads home but not before he sees the suicidal nun walking around out front of the monastery. Up until this point, the film has me interested. Total atmospheric spooky castle, crosses, dead nuns type shit. I am eating this up like a bowl of frosted flakes with an extra two scoops of sugar. So carrying on with our story, Priest and nun chit chat, she tells him she has visions, he tells her he did a botched exorcism that claimed a little boy's life and like clock work the priest is now haunted by visions throughout the monastery of this dead kid. Blah blah blah, they learn of the evil presence in the monastery and how to expel it which, apparently happens to be a vial holding the blood of christ locked away that the Templars left behind. Now don't you think if the Vatican knew there was Jesus blood lying around somewhere they would have taken it to safer keeping or guarded it instead of leaving it locked away with some nuns? It's not even like these were nuns with guns that could have done something.
So almost nun, who nows decides she is ready to take her vows and be a full time nun, fills her mouth with Jesus blood, spits on Valak the Nun and all is right with the world again, but not before the demon Valak sneakily enters the body of Frenchie without anyone knowing. And this brings us full circle back to the Conjuring where the Warrens are doing a presentation and talk about Frenchie's exorcism where Lily Taylor from the first Conjuring movie is sitting in on.
So how does one successfully fuck up a nun movie? Trust me, I sit through a lot of nunspolitation, it doesn't take much to entertain me when there is a black and white outfit involved. First rarely show the central character the movie is named after. She is in there, but really, she probably has about as much screen time as she did in Conjuring 2. Don't get me wrong, there are a bunch of fucked up nuns running around in the movie, but not a whole hell of a lot of Valak. Secondly this story has about as many plot holes as the bible does, things don't make sense or don't add up. The more the story goes, the more questions you have. Like if the demon needed a host body and after the film it is destroyed and jumps into Frenchie, why does Lorraine Warren see the demon as the nun in Conjuring 2? Shouldn't it have looked like Frenchie to her, what the hell connection to looking like a nun does it matter to her? All that, weak story, cheap jump scares and too much Hollywood flash removes most of the appeal to this movie. But on a positive note, there is some cool atmospheric imagery in the beginning and it is not the worst film in the Conjuring Universe. The first Annabelle movie still wears that shit crown.
So when it comes to Nun films you can do much better then this. Stick with the likes of The Convent, Love Letters of a Portuguese Nun or Images of the Convent.
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