31 Nights of Halloween Horror - Night 9 - Terrifier
Terrifier
88 mins.
Dir. Damien Leone
USA/2017
Get your rain coats, you are going to get wet. Over the next two nights we are going to watch some over the top splatterfests. One a complete hunk of shit, the other an over the top classic. Both with excessive memorable gore scenes, completely shallow stories, bad acting and gaping plot holes. So why is one great and the other a smoldering turd you stepped on and can't get off the bottom of your shoe, so you need to throw your shoe away and walk around barefoot? Trust me nobody wants that. Let's explore shall we? Hoods up, there will be gore. First up, the boring lame shit show called Terrifier.
Two things that bore me in this genre, clowns and slasher films. So that is pretty much two strikes going against this flick, but I am open-minded and will give anything a try. The plot to this movie is, clown kills people for no reason. That's it, really nothing else happens, no back story, no nothing. There is an opening prologue featuring a victim from Art the Clown. Why? I don't know. What purpose does it have? I don't know. So it's Halloween night, presumably only because that is the only way you can have someone walk around dressed as a clown and people won't think twice about it. Two girls coming back from a party are too drunk to drive so they go to a pizza place to eat and sober up. In walks Art the Clown and he has eyes for one of the two girls. I don't remember if they have names, doesn't matter because no one matters enough to remember anyone's name in this flick. We'll just call them victims #3 & #4. Art walks into the bathroom of the pizza place, has explosive diarrhea and and smears his shit all over the walls and toilet. Pizza guys (victims #1 & #2) throw him out, after the girls leave, Art goes back to the pizza place and slaughters the two pisans, turning one of their heads into a human jack-o-lantern.
Meanwhile the two drunk broads head back to their car only to find out they have a flat tire. Of course no spare, because why would you keep one of those in a car. So victim #4 calls her sister (victim #7) to come pick them up. Victim #4 decides she has to go to the bathroom, but the only place around is the old warehouse building that a rat exterminator (victim #6) happens to be standing in front of. So she asks him if she can go inside and use the bathroom. So with victim #3 in the car alone, guess who shows up. Yes indeed, the clown. Stuff happens, I don't even remember, cat and mouse crap between victim #4 and the clown. Eventually Victim #4 winds up tied to a chair in a room with victim #3 tied upside down naked with her legs spread like a letter "Y". In one of the only good scenes in the movie the clown begins to saw victim #3 in half from the vag all the way through her head with a hacksaw. Probably technically impossible, and while they don't actually show the action they show the after effect and that looks pretty cool.
More cat and mouse stuff between the clown and victim #4 for the next three hours. Eventually victim #5 comes into play and in the only other good scene in the movie gets his head cut off, which is shown. And hour and half later, the clown is eating the face of victim #7 the cops (who were investigating the pizza place murders all night, but never bothered to check a couple blocks down where gun shots and screaming were happening) show up and instead of being captured the clown blows his brains out. Oh sorry did I ruin the end for you? Do you really think the clown is dead? Of course not, then how would he come back in a sequel that would be the exact same thing as the first movie? How does he come back? Who the fuck knows, that would take far more of an explanation then this movie is capable of.
Zero story, the movie starts out like it may be ok, but once the cat and mouse stuff begins, which is over 3/4 of the movie, it is all the same boring thing. Victim runs from clown, clown pops up out of nowhere and hurts victim, victim hurts clown and runs away, clown pops up out of nowhere and hurts victim, rinse and repeat. On a positive note, the guy who plays the clown does an excellent job at being creepy and the clown does not utter a word or scream out the entire film. There are a couple great gore scenes and the violence is brutal. But I don't know if any of that holds up enough to have to sit through this travesty again. Tomorrow night we will look at a similar scenario, but on a much more entertaining note.
Terrifier
88 mins.
Dir. Damien Leone
USA/2017
Get your rain coats, you are going to get wet. Over the next two nights we are going to watch some over the top splatterfests. One a complete hunk of shit, the other an over the top classic. Both with excessive memorable gore scenes, completely shallow stories, bad acting and gaping plot holes. So why is one great and the other a smoldering turd you stepped on and can't get off the bottom of your shoe, so you need to throw your shoe away and walk around barefoot? Trust me nobody wants that. Let's explore shall we? Hoods up, there will be gore. First up, the boring lame shit show called Terrifier.
Two things that bore me in this genre, clowns and slasher films. So that is pretty much two strikes going against this flick, but I am open-minded and will give anything a try. The plot to this movie is, clown kills people for no reason. That's it, really nothing else happens, no back story, no nothing. There is an opening prologue featuring a victim from Art the Clown. Why? I don't know. What purpose does it have? I don't know. So it's Halloween night, presumably only because that is the only way you can have someone walk around dressed as a clown and people won't think twice about it. Two girls coming back from a party are too drunk to drive so they go to a pizza place to eat and sober up. In walks Art the Clown and he has eyes for one of the two girls. I don't remember if they have names, doesn't matter because no one matters enough to remember anyone's name in this flick. We'll just call them victims #3 & #4. Art walks into the bathroom of the pizza place, has explosive diarrhea and and smears his shit all over the walls and toilet. Pizza guys (victims #1 & #2) throw him out, after the girls leave, Art goes back to the pizza place and slaughters the two pisans, turning one of their heads into a human jack-o-lantern.
Meanwhile the two drunk broads head back to their car only to find out they have a flat tire. Of course no spare, because why would you keep one of those in a car. So victim #4 calls her sister (victim #7) to come pick them up. Victim #4 decides she has to go to the bathroom, but the only place around is the old warehouse building that a rat exterminator (victim #6) happens to be standing in front of. So she asks him if she can go inside and use the bathroom. So with victim #3 in the car alone, guess who shows up. Yes indeed, the clown. Stuff happens, I don't even remember, cat and mouse crap between victim #4 and the clown. Eventually Victim #4 winds up tied to a chair in a room with victim #3 tied upside down naked with her legs spread like a letter "Y". In one of the only good scenes in the movie the clown begins to saw victim #3 in half from the vag all the way through her head with a hacksaw. Probably technically impossible, and while they don't actually show the action they show the after effect and that looks pretty cool.
More cat and mouse stuff between the clown and victim #4 for the next three hours. Eventually victim #5 comes into play and in the only other good scene in the movie gets his head cut off, which is shown. And hour and half later, the clown is eating the face of victim #7 the cops (who were investigating the pizza place murders all night, but never bothered to check a couple blocks down where gun shots and screaming were happening) show up and instead of being captured the clown blows his brains out. Oh sorry did I ruin the end for you? Do you really think the clown is dead? Of course not, then how would he come back in a sequel that would be the exact same thing as the first movie? How does he come back? Who the fuck knows, that would take far more of an explanation then this movie is capable of.
Zero story, the movie starts out like it may be ok, but once the cat and mouse stuff begins, which is over 3/4 of the movie, it is all the same boring thing. Victim runs from clown, clown pops up out of nowhere and hurts victim, victim hurts clown and runs away, clown pops up out of nowhere and hurts victim, rinse and repeat. On a positive note, the guy who plays the clown does an excellent job at being creepy and the clown does not utter a word or scream out the entire film. There are a couple great gore scenes and the violence is brutal. But I don't know if any of that holds up enough to have to sit through this travesty again. Tomorrow night we will look at a similar scenario, but on a much more entertaining note.
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