31 Nights of Halloween Horror - Night 25 - Candy Corn




Candy Corn
85 mins.
Dir. Josh Hasty
2019/USA

You know how when you go trick or treating and you come home and empty out your sack and sort through the candy and you throw away all the loose pieces of stale candy corn?  You should probably do the same with this movie.



It’s Halloween in some Midwest small town.  They may have said the location, I forget.  Three delinquents, who may or may not be in high school, if they are they seem too old, plan on how they are going to haze the local retarded kid on Halloween as they do every year.  Even though one of the delinquents with the stupid mustache’s girlfriend questions why they would bully this poor person.  The leader delinquent who is also the sheriff’s son says, because they do it every year and it is tradition and east and fun to do.  So we obviously know these kids are dicks, we hate them and we look forward to them all getting what is coming to them.

Next up we have the old freakshow that moves into two with Dr. Death’s Freak-O-Rama or some shit.  Seems the special needs kid, Jacob works for Dr. Death who is played by Pancho Moler, who also played the best parts in Rob Zombie’s 31 and 3 from Hell.  Here he is pretty much the best part of this movie as well, but too a much lesser degree.  So the assholes of the film and one girlfriend corner Jacob at the sideshow one evening to do whatever they have planned to do to him.  But he tries to fight back which pisses off the assholes so they kick the shit out of him so much that they kill him.  He is later found by Dr. Death, who decides the best thing to do is put a rubber mask on Jacob’s corpse, open an old book and say an incantation over him.



Guess what happens next?  That’s right the rest of the movie Pumpkinhead, I mean, uh Candy Corn goes out and kills all the people that done him wrong and the dumb ass police try and figure out what is going on.  Some blood, some guts.  Guy gets his spine pulled out of his back, but nothing is enough to save this boring ass movie.  And I mean fucking boring.  Even the music is boring.  It plods along at such a snail’s pace even some of the characters in the film sit around and do nothing but fall asleep they are so bored.  Cameos by Tony Todd, PJ Soles and Courtney Gains who played Malachai in the Children of the Corn when he was much younger is the sheriff. 

This movie has plenty of faults, unoriginality, bad characters, rehashing a story we have seen time and time again, the drawn out nothingness, I can’t stress how dull this movie is.  It is not a slow burn, it is just slow.  Everyone seems bored in it and you will too.  The mask the killer guy wears looks cool and creepy, but the movie has no tense moments in it to play off that.  We know everything that is going to happen long before it does.  This movie is as stale the candy it is named after.



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