31 Nights of Halloween Horror - Laid to Rest

Laid to Rest
90 mins.
Dir. Robert Hall
2009/USA


This will probably be the shortest review of the month, since basically this movie has no plot and no purpose other than to show off some gore effects.  So if you like blood, read on.  If you like story, see you tomorrow.

Girl wakes up in a coffin, she breaks out and finds herself stalked by a guy wearing a chrome skull mask.  She flees the funeral parlor, gets picked up by a nice man who only has enough gas to get to his home, that has no phone.  Chromeskull of course finds her, because serial killers in movies have GPS trackers built in to all their victims.  Chromeskull kills the guys wife, they escape, more people are killed, they drive, even though they have no gas, to the next house.  Roach from People Under the Stairs lives there, who also has no phone.  But he has a commodore 64, so they call 911 through the computer.  Next they drive to the police station, but Chromeskull beats them to it and killed everyone there and lies waiting for them.  Our victims flee the police station and stop back at the funeral parlor, more people are killed.  Of course Chromeskull knew they were going there as well, because he subscribes to GPS victim tracker remember.  Next we stop at the local mini mart to pick up batteries, once again Chromeskull shows up there as well, for the final showdown where more people are killed.  Thrilling, isn't it.



Who is Chromeskull?  Who knows?  Why is he killing all these people?  Who knows?  Why does he wear a chrome skull mask?  Who knows, but I can tell you it keeps falling off his face, so he uses a special adhesive from a bottle literally marked "special adhesive" and keeps applying on the inside of the mask to stick to his face.  Not sure why he just didn't get a mask with straps on it like Jason Voorhees.  He never had a problem with his mask falling off.  It even stayed on underwater.

So what we have here is a special effects guy directing and writing a movie starring his then wife Bobbie Sue Luther (Poughkeepsie Tapes & Night of the Demons remake).  The writing is atrocious and with no point or plot to anything happening.  Characters act like this is their first day out of the womb and are just discovering things, like how to use a phone.  The acting is unconvincing on any level.  So all we have going for this movie is the blood.  Chromeskull's weapon of choice is a giant survival knife.  So if you like to see people's throat's slit, this is your movie.  Couple heads cut off, knife through the head, guts spilled, face exploded with a can of tire inflator, you know, the usual.  Effects are all practical so that is good.  But you are probably just better off watching a highlight reel of effects, because the other 85 minutes of the movie are pointless.  Seems like they just wanted to create another iconic killer to make more movies out of then anything else.  However it fails on every level.



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